#incorrect it

[tf2incorrectquotes]

[lovesick-joey]

the people wanted more youtube worldbuilding ^^

one | three

[demonicsuffrage]

Bruce has a strict 'no metas/powers (except duke) allowed in Gotham' policy in place but it has a clause, BYOR (Bring Your Own Robin)

No one is allowed entry untill and unless they can produce their very own certified robin-shaped identity card

Whenever someone with even a hint of supernatural powers in them arrives at Gotham, they're first met with Bruce standing at the city border with a notepad in hand

Bruce: State your name and purpose.

Kon: Kon-el, here to hangout!

Bruce: Your Robin?

Kon, flourishing Tim from behind him: Ta-Da!

Tim, waves: Hey Bruce

Bruce: Approved, you may enter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Name and purpose?

Hal: Here to investigate a case, Hal Jordan

Bruce: Your Robin?

Hal: I.... don't have one?

Bruce: Denied

Hal: What?! But-

Bruce: Denied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Yes, Wally, where's your robin?

Wally: Oh shit lemme just- *zaps away and returns with Dick, who was in the midst of brushing his teeth, in a bridal carry*- Here!

Bruce, grumbling a little: Fine. Approved.

Dick: You gotta stop using me as a key already, man

Wally: Blame Bruce.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Name and purpose?

Clark: Clark Kent, here for our monthly barbecue

Bruce: Robin?

Clark, producing an actual robin bird: Does this count?

Bruce:.....yes

[shortbcofkoffee]

Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?

Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.

Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.

Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.

Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.

Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.

Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.

-

Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?

Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.

[existennialmemes]

Musk: [calling Grimes at 3 in the morning] Tell them. Tell them I'm good at video games and I will give you sixty million dollars

Grimes:

Musk: or I detonate the chip in the baby's neck

Grimes: [long exhalation] seventy million

I had to take this screenshot myself because I was so convinced it wasn't real

[yoongisgayvanz]

i make myself laugh

[narutwitter]

[demiboydemon]

[cosmos-kitty]

Maybe the real treasure was the boops we made along the way

[tf2incorrectquotes]

[lovesick-joey]

youtube content in the dc universe

two | three

[leo-artista]

Incorrect quotes ft. Stan twins

[batcavescolony]

Odysseus: I am different, I am no longer the man you married, it's been 20 long years but if you could just fall in love with me again?

Penelope: if you can do something for me

Odysseus: anything

Penelope: move my wedding bed.

Odysseus: I can't, it's made out of a living tree, to move it I would have to destroy it. How can yo-

Penelope: oh, I thought we were asking each other stupid questions?

Odysseus:

Penelope: 'FaLl iN lOvE wItH mE aGaiN' to do that I would have had to stop loving you.

[n0tsketchyy]

headcanon that the bat kids have a shared note on their phones called "shit bruce says that's technically not a lie but is INCREDIBLY misleading"

examples include:

bruce, calmly sipping coffee while covered in bandages: "the mission went fine"

bruce, after disappearing for 3 days: "i was busy with work"

bruce, to a socialite asking about his kids: "they're very well-behaved"

bruce, after alfred finds him testing potentially lethal tech on himself: "the chances of catastrophic failure are statistically insignificant"

and the latest addition, from last tuesday:

tim: "did you seriously tell superman you were 'mildly inconvenienced' when you had THREE BROKEN RIBS?"

bruce, not looking up from his computer: "three broken ribs IS a mild inconvenience"

jason, walking past: "to fucking WHO?"

bruce: "language."

jason: "TO WHOM, then, you absolute psychopath?"

———

damian adds his own entry later that night:

"Father told me today that Grayson was 'somewhat enthusiastic' as Robin. This is the same Grayson who did a quadruple somersault off a skyscraper just to catch a hat that was blowing away from a civilian."

dick, reading over his shoulder: "in my defense, it was a really nice hat."

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Damian: I quit Robin.

Tim: You can do that???

Jason: First I’m hearing about it.

Dick: Aww Dami what superhero name have you picked now?

Damian: I will become a doctor.

Dick: …

Dick: YOU CAN DO THAT??

Jason: You’ve done it brat. You’ve escaped.

Tim, still muttering: You can quit Robin? How long has it been?